FEWER LESSES

Being a grammar freak has its good points and its bad points. Good is appreciating the talent and skill it takes to write well. Bad is reading (or hearing) bad grammar.

What has my dander up these days is the misuse of "less." I hear it everywhere:

"Less dollars!"

It's like fingernails on a blackboard, and it seems to have grown exponentially in the past decade.

Even "The New York Times" blogged about it last month.

Being a simple man, I see two possible explanations for the problem: either teachers are not teaching the difference between "less" and "fewer," or students are not learning it.

The former is unlikely; the latter is very likely.

"Fewer," the rule says, "applies to things that are countable."

Therefore, it's fewer dollars and less money.

Fewer gallons. Less water.

So, please -- fewer lesses!

I feel better now...

Ask Not

We are running out of time, and soon it will be too late. Al Gore’s ecological “tipping point” has an evil twin in Finance, and he is at our door. The U.S. must reduce its debt. Not think about it, just do it. I’m talking about virtually nuking the way we have lived and starting over.

We are in this mess because previous congresses and presidents lacked the political will to solve the problems. Doing so would have cost them re-election, most likely, but they would have served their country in the spirit they so earnestly proclaimed in their election campaigns. Democrats and Republicans share this responsibility equally. More importantly, so do we because we allowed it. It is we who must lead now, not our politicians.

There is only one approach that offers a realistic chance of getting the nation out of its fiscal quagmire: a war. A real, no-holds-barred, financially bloody, scorched-earth war against the political, economic and social sloth that has led us here. Here’s a possible war plan:

First, the children. Stop raising them “easy.” Don’t buy them everything they want. Make them earn it. Better still, make them save up for it. Don’t let them play more than one sport at a time. Make them learn music. Teach charity. Remove the TV from their bedrooms. Restrict their computers and cellphones. Make them read a book a week and write letters to their grandparents or cousins. Give them chores. Take them to church. Teach them how to cook, fight, shoot and ride. Teach them humility and manners. Be tough. Be loving. Be a parent.

Second, you. Lead by example. You and your kids save up for their college or they don’t go unless they win a scholarship. Want a new car? Buy it outright or keep and maintain the one you have. To hell with what your co-workers and the neighbors think. If they ask what’s up, explain that you’re a soldier at war to save our country, then recruit them.

Third, Washington. Outlaw lobbyists. End foreign aid. Make banks be banks and nothing more. Take the exotic out of Wall Street: stocks, bonds and commodities only. Give cheaters and frauds long, long jail time.

Fourth, the tax code. Nuke it and go to a flat tax. No write-offs, no deferreds, no loopholes, no exceptions.

Do at least these things – constitutional amendments as needed -- and maybe we can get our country back.

Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do to save it.