Attention Dot-Coms

Hey, webmasters -- What is up with these overloaded Web sites?  You go to a known, reliable Internet source, and the page twitches and spazzes while dozens of goofball ads load on the page.  The result?  The customer (that would be me, in this case) must wait until the gyrations cease before reading the article that now occupies less than half the screen.

If I have to wait 45 seconds for a page to load, that's too long, people.  Aren't you all about speed, and customer satisfaction, and click-throughs and stuff?

And no, the problem is not with my tablet.  I have the fastest, baddest they make, so don't say that I'm just not fast enough.  And my Internet connection is blinding fast.

I'm all for successful monetization and Internet success, but figure it out, guys*.  I'm willing to wait, but not for long.

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* Can refer to males or females.

The Tip

I was well into my teens before I heard about tipping.  At first, the idea seemed ludicrous: why should I pay a waitress extra for doing her job?

I finally asked a girl about this.  Once she stopped chuckling at my naïveté she explained that waitresses don't get paid more than a couple of bucks an hour, so they depend on tips.  (Can you say Performance-based Compensation?)

Then there was the matter of how much to tip.  Ten percent of the bill?  Fifteen during the day, I was told; twenty for supper.  What if the food was subpar, or the meal came late or the service was lousy?

There are guidelines.  Here is one:

http://money.cnn.com/pf/features/lists/tipping/

I've never waited tables and wouldn't want to; I've witnessed far too many pain-in-the-ass customers.  For that reason alone, appropriate (nay, generous) tipping is warranted.

What do you think?

One

One of my best friends died unexpectedly.  We both had been in radio for more than forty years.  I retired in November, and he in December.  He died the following March.

Someone asked me to define "one of my best friends."

I like people, but few I consider friends.  He was one of my best.  Another was a doctor, who died by his own hand in his forties.  Another I had known since high school died of a heart attack, also in his forties.

Terry and I would go months without talking to each other, but that didn't matter to us.  We had a bond that withstood time.

He and I had been in radio for more than forty years.  The last 33 were in the Dallas market.  He became one of the nation's most celebrated country music DJs.  In the 80s, I was his news guy.  Then the competition across town hired him away.

I guess a best friend is a friend who knows all about you -- everything -- and still likes you.  In his case, I just plain loved Terry.  And while I pray that God will comfort Claudia and the family, I also ask Him to tell Terry for me, "Hi, Dorsey!" 

Flight School

Little did we know when we bought our new house that a flight school was out back.

They come early in the morning.  Young pilots with little experience can be seen flying carelessly through our back yard, somehow dodging trees and other obstacles.

These pilots are young birds.

Their parents soon arrive to corral the youngsters before they hurt themselves or someone else, or cause property damage.

The lessons begin, and once more the young finches are flying about.  I can't tell whether there is some form to this training, or whether the parents just watch and let the kids do their own thing.  I don't speak finch.

While my wife and I have become accustomed to the phenomenon, our cat is keenly interested, watching through a window and making those weird sounds that cats make when they see birds or other little animals.

Maybe he speaks finch.

O Canada!

When Toronto fans finished the U.S. national anthem after the singer's microphone crapped out before the Leafs' home game against Nashville, we were all impressed.  Oh, those classy Canadians!

Would American hockey fans have done that?  I'd like to think so, but do American hockey fans even know the lyrics to "O Canada"?

Just in case, here is the first stanza:

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

P.S.  When I first heard the Canadian national anthem, I swore that it sounded like, "We stand on God for thee."

You Made It! Now What?

Congratulations, Republicans, on winning control of the Senate.  I hope that you comport yourselves admirably and make us all proud.  However, I'm not optimistic.

After all, you are the same folks who swore to obstruct the Obama administration at every opportunity.  Long before the 2012 elections, you vowed to make him a one-term President.  When that failed, you shut down the government for two weeks just before the holidays.  When that failed to achieve your objectives, you launched a fusillade of bile and hatred that was downright shameful.

Now, at last, you control both houses of Congress.  Next objective: The White House.  Then all will be well, right?

Be careful what you wish for.

If you gleaned nothing else from the recent mid-terms, it is this: We have had it with the political brinksmanship that both you and the Democrats have played.  Enough, already, with the pouting, name-calling and finger-pointing.  This is not 3rd-grade recess.  You're supposed to be the grown-ups.

You want to dismantle Obamacare?  Go for it.  But offer a realistic alternative for the millions who need it.

You want justice for Benghazi?  Go for it.  Bring your case to the courts and let a jury decide.

You want the Keystone XL pipeline?  Go for it.  But first, pass a bill guaranteeing that if the pipeline despoils our environment, you go to jail.  How's that for transparency?

You want to ensure that Hillary doesn't win in 2016?

Don't f*** up.

My History of History

My History of History

I never cared much for history while in school.  It was boring and irrelevant to what was important to me: recess, baseball and playing war with my pals on weekends.  In junior high and high school, it was baseball, the space race, orchestra, band and girls.

However, it was George Santayana's warning that woke me up years later.   The Spanish philosopher wrote in 1905, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

I like to read.  And my library (both hardbacks and e-books) is packed with history books and biographies.  It's not so much to make up for those wasted history classes as it is the genuine interest of a more mature mind.

One of my favorites is C. V. Wedgwood's "The Spoils of Time."  Unlike the academics who wrote those boring textbooks back then, this British historian's 1984 book weaves an intriguing tale of human history from the beginning of civilization through the early Renaissance.

Sounds really boring, I know.  I would never have chosen it; the book came in the mail from a book-of-the-month club I had forgotten to cancel.

A "The New York Times" reviewer liked it.  "Hers is a glowing, substantial, ingeniously organized book."  Here, here.

I have read and re-read this book for two reasons.  First and foremost, I admire her gifted writing.  Second, I inevitably learn (or, retain this time) something I missed in the last read.

Then came Jones and Wilson's "An Incomplete Education" in 1987, which covers 'way more than history.  The two former researchers at "Esquire" magazine subtitled their book, "3,684 Things You Should Have Learned but Probably Didn't."  It was a wildly successful book and is now considered a classic.

PBS recently aired Ken Burns' 14-hour series about the Roosevelts.  Some really good writing backed by terrific videos and photos.  I had forgotten that FDR had an affair.

So, what does reading history do for a veteran newscaster?  It helps put the history being made today into perspective.

Most important: Look, Ma! I'm reading history!