May Elephants Never Forget

After President Obama won reelection, some fool posted a photo of the American flag hanging upside down. That is not what he thinks it is. It is a Naval sign of distress.

I've held off commenting on Mr. Obama's reelection and -- more to the point -- why the GOP got shellacked until I could calm down.

As the misnamed "fiscal cliff" looms, here's what I think.

The GOP lost for the same reason that Ronald Reagan abandoned the Democratic Party in 1962: the party lost its soul. Back then, Reagan said he didn't leave the Democratic Party; the party left him.

And clearly, the GOP left a bunch of others, too, despite the billions spent by corporate and industrial PACs to malign the incumbent as a communist, socialist and mongrel -- among other sins.

Make no mistake: Barack Obama won four years ago on his personal appeal to the masses, especially the underclass, and not on his credentials.

He won this time because you guys came across as extreme right-wing nutjobs. You let Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin and Fox News define you.

You publicly declared that your Number One objective the past for years was to make Mr. Obama a one-term president. Really? Since when is your job to scuttle the presidency?

That alone disqualified you. You lost this election a long, long time ago. Worse, you didn't realize it 'til the Wednesday after the election. Your state of shock was laughable.

What you should have done the past four years was everything you could do to help this thinly-qualified president by leading us out of the financial crisis that he inherited. Remember the balance of power thing? The U.S. was in crisis, and you idiots abdicated your responsibilities to help. All you did was hinder. You assigned blame (wrongly) and pointed fingers like a bunch of 4-year-olds.

I've talked with enough Republicans and Democrats in Washington over the years to know that there are some fine people who have sacrificed a lot and work hard to do the people's work.

It is time to prove your worth.

Address this fiscal cliff prudently and quickly. We don't want brinksmanship; we want wise leadership.

Follow Harry Truman's example: stand up straight, look us in the eye and tell us the truth.

Unlike you, we can handle it.

Taste

Shortly after my wife and I were married, she announced that she was going to buy me some clothes, as it was painfully evident that I had no taste. No husband of hers was going to wear that in public. Or that.

And that thing? Oh, Hell, no!

My protests fell on deaf ears. I was dragged to the mall, where we spent precious dollars on name-brand clothing which I was raised to believe belonged only to the well-to-do.

It has been thus ever since.

As a result, my closet is as nearly idiot-proof as is possible. When I was getting up at 2am to do morning-drive news, I would basically dress in the dark so as not to disturb her sleep. This meant that any pair of slacks had to go with virtually any shirt. It was a sight to behold.

Wearing name-brand clothing -- and having a reasonable supply of it -- usually means that it lasts longer, so that you actually get more bang for your buck. Go figure.

Over the past few years, I have become a brand buyer. I tried it once, liked it, and found that most everything this company makes is of good quality. More important, it passes muster. And yes, it lasts longer than lesser brands.

Morale: Taste cannot be taught; you either have it, or you don't. If you have it, be thankful. I don't, but I surely have the next best thing.

I'll be wearing my tasteful new shirt to work this week.

Assume

"Curiosity killed the cat." "Cats have nine lives." Which one is true?  Both.   Life is a gamble. I go for the "nine lives" part because of a strong curiosity.  It has served me well as a news guy, but it also is immensely satisfying personally. Was standing in line at a store check-out behind a man wearing a black silk head covering.  There were numerous elaborate tattoos on his arms.  "Nice ink," I said.  He turned around, looked me up and down and turned away.  Later, in the parking lot, he thanked me and said the tats honor a buddy killed in Iraq. Waiting for my food order at Schlotzky's, spotted four police officers at a table waiting on their order.  Walked up and posed a question that I'd wanted to ask for a long time: What's that radar-dome-looking thing on the roof of some police cars? A sergeant explained it.  I promised not to tell. Attended a lecture at SMU featuring Stephen Hawking.  The lecture hall was packed with physics and quantum mechanics and astronomy students.  Completely out of my league,  I took  lots of notes hoping to figure out the subject matter later.  Didn't help. Covering a shooting, arrived before the ambulance.  Asked the victim lying on his back if the wound in his abdomen hurt.  He said it didn't because it was only a .22-calibre bullet.  Did he know the shooter?  Yes, and the wounded man vowed to kick his butt later.  Why?  For being stupid, he said. I could have assumed that the guy with the tattoos was a thug.  Or that the police officers were to be avoided.  Or that the lecture would enlighten.  Or that the wounded man would curse such a question. What they say about the word, "assume," remains true. Mostly.

Church

I went to church last week and spent a few days there.  I go about twice a year.  It never fails to lift my spirits. My church has no steeple, no pews, no organ, no stained glass, no preacher. My fellow parishoners are bears, deer, wolves and other creatures, plus certain other humans. I discovered this church only recently.  A series of revelations led me there. One revelation occurred when I accidentally shot and killed a snowy owl.  I had never seen one until this gorgeous bird fell out of the tree.  From below, mostly hidden in the canopy, it looked like a vulture.  I have hunted before, but killing that magnificent creature broke my heart. Another revelation came when I was a boy learning the Bible.  When I read that God gave us dominion over the Earth and every living thing therein, the idea stuck. Aboard a 727 climbing out of Weir Cook Airport (now Indianapolis International),  I saw dirty grey air pollution until we passed ten thousand feet.  Decades later, it was noticeable up to nearly twenty thousand.  Yup, we humans sure know how to dominion. The Exxon Valdez oil spill in Prince William Sound infuriated me, as it did many people.  For the next ten years I boycotted Exxon. Have you ever been to a landfill?  Actually climbed onto it, looked at it and smelled it? You've probably seen video of that giant collection of garbage floating in the central North Pacific Ocean.  Human stewardship at its best, I tell ya. Anyway, I spend a few days in the Rockies a couple of times a year.  And every time, I come away thinking, "You should go to church more often."